Contentment is an inside job...

A lot of chaos and death the past couple weeks.  It's been hard to accept much of it.  But what choice do I really have?  It is what it is.  I need to accept this truth before I can feel okay...feel content.  

Real contentment is born out of love and care for self.  In other words, finding it is an inside job.  No thing and no one can give it to you and no thing and no one can take it away.  It's my job to change and meet the needs of my relationships and obligations. It's unrealistic, selfish and self-centered to expect the world to change so that I don't have to. Besides, it never works.  

All of us want contentment but some aren't willing to work for it. Some haven't accepted that contentment can't come from outside themselves...that it's an inside job.  These folks want the irresponsible life of the child while still being granted the rewards earned by hard working responsible adults.  And what happens?...they don't get what they want.  So they live bitter and disappointed, blaming their misery on others rather than looking at themselves.   

Acceptance that the rewards of life come from "giving" versus "getting" is sometimes a hard pill to swallow.  But it's a must if you want to find peace and contentment.  No one can shove an emotions down your throat. We can either accept and deal with our feelings or they will deal with us. We can either seek and find peace or we can choose not to seek and be miserable.  Contentment must come from within.  There is no other way.  

Be good to your self.  Seek and nourish the "you" that makes you special.  For we can only accept and give to others to the degree that we can accept and give to ourselves. 

Peace,

Evan

So it's Christmas Eve.  Very cool.  Being Jewish, I used to feel left out and different around this time of year.  But over time I've learned to how to focus on our similarities over our differences.  Like the wise Dr. Carl Jung; I believe that there exists a collective unconscious that connects us all...everything alive.  I believe that feeling different is based on how I define "different" The reality is that people are too wrapped up in their own lives to be focused on me.  So during the holiday time, I encourage everyone to look for the similarities in each other, to focus on what you can do for others rather than what they can do for you, and recognize more of what's right with the world than what's wrong with it.  

Wishing you and yours a safe, healthy and fulfilling holiday season.  

Evan

A wonderful friend died the other day. Allen was one of those people I watched and copied.  I respect so much of what he's done.  Allen seemed to find that elusive balance between giving to others and giving to self.  He didn't just talk about helping and being of service to others. He was the paradigm for it.

I'm big on self-respect.  I try and take the advice I give my clients.  I say, "If you see someone doing something you respect, then if you copy it, you'll respect yourself, and that is how you develop self-respect."

I've tried to live a lot like Allen and will continue to do so.  And if I can do for someone what he has done for me, then my life has been worth living.

Thanks Allen, for all those intellectual debates and private conversations we had sitting on your porch while you smoked your pipe.  Thanks for being you, as it's made me a better person.  Look down and be proud my dear friend.  You've made the world and it's people just a little bit better.

Blessings,

It's early.  I love the mornings. It's my time. I've learned to take "me time".  It's important that I treat myself as if I'm worth it, even if sometimes I don't think I am. Because the truth is...I am...I have intrinsic value; just like you.  We were born with it.  We are worthwhile and precious human beings, no worse and no better than the next person.  We may think we are different, but we are not.

Our perceptions mean everything.  They determine how we see the world and the people, places and things in it.  It's an illusion to believe that we see objectively.  It's simply not possible.  It's like trying to see ourselves from the vantage point of another.  We can't.  So for me, the idea is to remember this and not assume certainty of anything; which often isn't a comfortable place to be.

I'm ready to start my day.  I guess I already have...

Blessings,